Semantic Advantages

Friday, 20 March 2009 18:29 Written by Mistress Heather

"Miss Heather, can I call you Mistress Heather?"

"No. Absolutely not."

"No? Really?"

"No, I wouldn't like that."

"Why not?"

"Well because the term mistress negatively implies involvement in an extramarital affair and I don't like it."

"But I would like to call you that, I think it sounds cool."

Being a reasonable school teacher, I look it up:

mis⋅tress: noun.

1.	a woman who has authority, control, or power, esp. the female head of a household, institution, or other establishment.

2.	a woman employing, or in authority over, servants or attendants.

3.	a female owner of an animal, or formerly, a slave.

4.	a woman who has the power of controlling or disposing of something at her own pleasure: mistress of a great fortune.

5.	(sometimes initial capital letter) something regarded as feminine that has control or supremacy: Great Britain, the mistress of the seas.

6.	a women who is skilled in something, as an occupation or art.

7.	a woman who has a continuing, extramarital sexual relationship with one man, esp. a man who, in return for an exclusive and continuing liaison, provides her with financial support.

8.	British. a female schoolteacher; schoolmistress.

9.	(initial capital letter) a term of address in former use and corresponding to Mrs., Miss, or Ms.

10.	Archaic. sweetheart.

Forced to change my opinion and reclaim the power of the term mistress (I am less worldly and cultured than I would like to be), I don the title for the rest of the afternoon quite comfortably. I just need a new dress to really rock the profile of Mistress Heather so THANK GOD IT'S PAYDAY!!!

PEACE!

Super*hero Legs!

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Tuesday, 17 March 2009 01:18 Written by Administrator

I found my Super Hero Legs!!

Cha CHING!

I was headed home on Saturday and I found some superhero legs on the floor in the hallway of my building! I was sure of it from the moment I spotted them! Little red plastic super hero legs, just laying there on the floor with no owner. So I snatched them up; the answer to the prayers I' been prayin'. Saweet Jesus.

God works in mysterious ways! And hilarious signs. SuperHero Legs

*song: I need a She/ro!! I'm holding on to the something something something da daa.a.... and its gotta be good and she's gotta be strong, and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!!! FLASH DANCE!

Another one bytes the...

Monday, 09 March 2009 08:36 Written by YRAPT

Beingz of a fairly cute persuaxion and intelligent enuf to be convincing, I do believe I will be able to make my rent this month.

Immediately after I wrote my rent check on Friday my client canceled her verbal commitment to pay her contract. And me with no reserves!

It's not an unforgivable offense. Matter of fact, I can't tell which came first, the chicken or the egg head who can't pay her bills cuz of the chicken forgetting to lay the egg! I'm eating macaroni and cheese with no milk, cashing in on my allotment of charity food boxes, and the neighbor lady keeps blessing me with groceries hung on my door knob! If I ever was walking in faith it is NOW! 2009!

I found $40 on the ground tho, the other day. That was so cool, I am saving it till I really need it.

Anti Gravity

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Tuesday, 03 March 2009 09:33 Written by Administrator

Pop Pop!

What a relief it is. Today I was hanging like a bat from anti gravity boots. I could feel all my tight muscles doing their job, hanging on to their stress, keeping me from looking and feeling my best! I am so smitten with my gym, the trainor there knows what is up! He took a picture for me cuz I am his favorite "SLACKER:" I am trying to get serious about my fitness, that is why I am always hanging around here:

<INSERT FOTO OF BATGIRL IN THE BATCAVE!>

Dear iPhoto 08

Tuesday, 24 February 2009 19:58 Written by Y RABT

Dear iPhoto 08,

I never say this: but I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN.

You have a way of enticing me into thinking you were actually planned and well thought out. Then just when I need you to do something simple you can't even do it.

I really can't stand you and I am glad I never have to use you, except for today.

Normally I don't say such harsh words, especially those reminiscent of ones real people use to talk abusively to youngsters or even their own children. Some people have said those things to kids out of hatred, and actually meant it.

With me and iPhoto '08, its like I am making a joke of a bad phrase because iPhoto '08 was actually created for a specific purpose and to me, based on programs that came before it, it has actually made it harder to make a movie or add a special effect or change the audio or add titles.

With children, no one should ever tell someone, no matter what age, that they wish they were never born. But it does happen.

Happy Valentines Day, Sonic Girl!

Thursday, 12 February 2009 20:26

"Happy Valentines Day, Sonic Girl!!"

And to think for a moment I questioned whether or not I would have a Valentine. Sigh.

That is the most romantic and delicious part about being a teacher. TREATS! Quite often I bring my own apple, I guess because I'm not a REAL teacher. If I was a real teacher I would have my cavities filled and this party would be less painful.

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